walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
