I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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