His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
