oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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