you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
