Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
