You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
