After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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