I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize