hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
