covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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