I need help removing her.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
