Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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