i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
