Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
cat food counts as protein by the way
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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