her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
