you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
