But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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