return my video game
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
