We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
