My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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