that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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