whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
