I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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