I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i believe in u and ur pee
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
