i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
