That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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