do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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