Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
