Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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