You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
