i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
