Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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