i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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