This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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