You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I enjoy the company of your penis
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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