Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
