I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
