Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
