Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
