it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
