I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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