I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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