My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
