We won't sleep together?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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