Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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