The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
