try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
