That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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