Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
