i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
