the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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