Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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