I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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